Dutch 'witch' gets tax break on witchcraft course fees

The Dutch government are handing out a tax break for a woman who's doing a one year course to "learn to cast spells, prepare herbs and potions and use crystal balls..." She's getting GBP1,505 (2,210 Euros or Sing$4,515).

That's more than any compensation I get for my studies. Damn! I knew I was in the wrong profession. Click for BBC news story on witch's tax break

Condom advert!

You'd better blame your dad. And then buy some condoms... Click for condom advert mpeg

Glue Sniffing and Pills

This looks cool. It's an old film reel of an anti-drugs movie. I wish I'd seen it when I was younger... You need to scroll down the page.... Glue Sniffing and Pills

Sperm stuff

A very disturbing movie clip of sperm (under the microscope) being killed by some kind of spermicide (apparently lemon juice). Click for lemony sperm

Every sperm is sacred!

Monty Python

There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
There are Hindus and Mormons and then,
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But I've never been one of them...

I'm a Roman Catholic, and have been since the day I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics,
Is they'll take you as soon as you're warm...

You don't have to be a six-footer,
You don't have to have a great brain,
You don't have to have any clothes on -
You're a Catholic the moment dad came...

because...

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs, on the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for each sperm that can't be found

Every sperm is wanted, every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is useful, every sperm is fine,
God needs everybody's,
Mine
And mine
And mine

Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain,
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

Spam stuff

Here's some email spam you'll never see. It's a mildly amusing inversion of the normal spam rubbish you get in your email by a writer called David McCandless... Click for Spam You Never See

Top software tip

If you never want to get spam again in your emails, you'd better install Mail Washer Pro. Really, it's good. Here's the link

Mail Washer Pro

It holds all your emails on your email server and asks you if you want to accept them or bounce them. I use it, and I no longer get spam in my inbox. I bought it. It's very good.

Web tools for newbies

If, like Dougal, you're making a website on shoestring, you'll need these...

ftp commander for uploading and managing files on your web server

zip genius is the best free compression software (no strings)

topstyle lite is the free version of the excellent topstyle pro which sorts out your cascading style sheets.

And the best book? Web Designer's Reference by Craig Grannell

Brasso repairs scratched CDs!

Oh boy! I've just tried this and it works brilliantly. Yay for Brasso!

I had a CD that just wouldn't read on any player. I was trying to load it into itunes to preserve it for posterity, but it wouldn't play. It had some nasty scratches and one monster zigzaggy gouge. Damn! It's a classic psytrance CD that's not available anymore - lots of great tunes lost forever! Ruined, I thought... Not so!

I searched the net and found this (quite scientific) comparison of CD repair kits and other household cleaners...CDR Repair Kits from Burning Issues: Tips and Tricks for CDR / CDRW Writing Brasso comes out tops.

Folks have tried everything in desperation: vaseline, hair conditioner, toothpaste, mud - all listed on this site of other CD repair suggestions

But Brasso really does work. Here's another site recommending Brasso for scratched CDs

My gouged and scratched CD came out gleaming with not a scratch on it. I couldn't believe it! I'm now listening to all those classic tunes I thought I'd lost forever! Thank you Brasso! Mmmwwwwah!

Woohoo!

Museum of coathangers

An online museum that charts the history and development of the coathanger. Click for coathangers

Power Sitting

The intro says it all...Sit and win! Get your sit together. etc...Click for Power Sitting

Snail-mail Spam Revenge

If only we could do this for online spam... Click me for Snail-mail Spam Revenge

Stupid idea #15987644 - Concrete Ships

This is a dumb idea. But someone tried it. Made 12 of them in fact, during the First World War. It seems like some of them actually floated. Hmmm. Concrete Ships

BBC NEWS | Face to face: Dominatrix and submissive

The BBC are running a series at the moment called 'Who runs your world', so I suppose it's not too strange that they're doing an episode on a Sub-Dom couple. Hang on. Actually, it is strange. WTF?

"As part of the BBC's Who Runs Your World? series, we are looking at people in relationships of power. Here, we hear from a dominatrix and her client, the so-called submissive."

This bit made me laugh. I love the punchline...

"We try different things in terms of compromising positions for a man, including hog-tied - on your knees, hands behind your back, so that your ankles and your wrists are tied together, and there's another piece of rope that comes around so that your head movement is also restricted by your ankles.

And then we get into some meditative flogging."

Get into some what????

Click for Face to face: Dominatrix and submissive

Google Earth cool places to visit

Here are some of my favourite places on Google Earth. Here's a zipped folder


Or, depending on your browser, you can try clicking the following links to download the individual .kmz files which will launch Google Earth and fly you to your destination. Have a pleasant flight.

AirplaneGraveyard.kmz
Angkor.kmz
Area51.kmz
CaesarsPalace.kmz
everest.kmz
Graceland.kmz
Hollywood.kmz
NeverlandWakkoJakko.kmz
Pentagon.kmz
PlayboyMansion.kmz
sydney opera house.kmz

Talking Pregnant Trailer Trash Doll

A 'true-to-life' version of Barbie: the talking trailer trash doll. When you press her bellybutton, says things like "Pour me a double, I'm drinkin' for two." and "Bubba Jr., get off your sister!" Oh, and she's pregnant and she smokes too. Vile. Talking Pregnant Trailer Trash Doll

Google Earth

I wish I'd never found this. I can't stop playing with it. It's beyond description. Just download it (free), install it and type in a location. Whoooosh! Off you fly to... anywhere in the world. It's satellite photos, with roadmap overlays, business info and more. Ridiculously clever. Very pretty. Fascinating. Google Earth - Home

I've done a nostalgia trip back home and to school. I've seen the Pyramids (better by satellite than Angkor and Machu Picchu). I've checked out a few North Korean airbases (just keeping an eye on them, you know). Sugar loaf mountain in Rio. The glaciers in Iceland and the Himalayas are cool if you change the elevation so you see the 3D terrain. Ooooh! What a glorious time-waster!

The Hooters Employee Handbook

Essential reading for anyone who wants to be a Hooters girl. The Hooters Employee Handbook. Oh dear. Click to learn how to be a Hooters girl

Hooters offers its customers the look of the "All American Cheerleader, Surfer, Girl Next Door." The essence of the Hooters Concept is entertainment through female sex appeal, of which the LOOK is a key part.

I like the use of capitals and emphasis here:

All shirts must be sized to fit, NO BAGGINESS.

Hmm...And the use of capitals here is great:

Only approved Hooters Girl Shorts are to be worn, sized to fit, and should NOT BE SO TIGHT THAT THE BUTTOCKS SHOW

That's almost puritan. It's good to know that they have standards: tits not bums.

Failure to comply with Image or Grooming Standards may result in discipline up to and including termination.

You have been warned. It's a tough job, etc...

Grow Cube

A rather nice, but totally bemusing game. The latest in the Grow series... Click for Grow Cube

In case you've never played it, here's the original Grow

The Old Negro Space Program

The story of the NASSA Blackstronauts. Excellent movie, but slow download. Click for The Old Negro Space Program

In case ye forget! Aye!

Talk Like A Pirate Day - September 19

Ptikobj :: By David Firth

A very surreal animation. Clikc for Ptikobj :: By David Firth

Loch Ness Monster - latest news

Using underwater robots, scientists in Scotland have scooped up a flesh-like substance from the bottom of Loch Ness that may finally prove the existence of large animals deep in the loch. Click for Loch Ness monster flesh

Prince Adam's Fabulous Secret Download Page!!

Fabulous secret powers by Adam (the prince). Fun video. Prince Adam's Fabulous Secret Download Page!!

Wooden computer case mod

Some clever Russian carpenters have built a nice wooden case for their PC. Click for case mod

Help is at hand!

Google Blog Search

In the last hour Google launched this new search service. Click for Google Blog Search

FoodieView Recipe Search Engine

A search engine for recipes. Use it to clean out your fridge. Just type the contents of your fridge into the search box and find the recipe that'll cook'em all up together. Nice. FoodieView Recipe Search Engine

PocketMod version 0.3 beta

Here's a lovely piece of low-tech. Create your own pocket organiser (paper) by using this nice template-maker thingie.Click for PocketMod version 0.3 beta

Google Moon - Lunar Landing Sites

Check out what happens when you zoom in! Click for Google Moon - Lunar Landing Sites

Flat Wire Products

Nice little invention to hide your cables. DeCorp has invented flat cables that you can stick to the wall and paint over. Cool. Click for cool cables

Perils in nude modeling

Quality short movie. click for Perils in nude modeling

Produced by Wolf River Pictures

Video tombstone

It's called a Serenity Vidstone. It's a gravestone with solar powered memorial video in it. wtf? Click for Vidstone

FPS Creator - Let's make some games...

Ooh! Ooh! Software that allows you to create your own First Person Shooter (FPS) games. Ooh! Ooh! It looks really good. Click for FPS Creator

I'm going to play with it this weekend.

BBC - stupid advertising cliches

A nice list of advertising cliches compiled by the Beeb. Here are some of my faves...

1. Men are obsessed with sex but will forego sex in order to watch football or drink beer.

5. Any act of male stupidity (e.g. walking across a clean floor in muddy boots, putting the dog in the dishwasher, etc.) will be met with a wry smile, not genuine annoyance/anger.

16. High Street bank staff are (A) friends of the customers, and (B) of slightly above-average attractiveness (only if female).

19. Professional people have strangely trivial preoccupations, e.g. a female barrister who is morbidly obsessed with finding a healthy snack bar.

23. Women never merely hop in and out of the shower, instead preferring to act out some sort of soapy Dance of the Seven Veils.

All true, if you happen to live inside your TV.

Click for BBC article - ad cliches

BBC - Yahoo 'helped jail China writer'

Ooops! It seems Yahoo's become a police informer. Yahoo are accused of giving Chinese investigators info that linked an email account to someone's personal computer. They seem to have snitched on a Chinese dissident writer who's now facing 10 years in jail.

Earlier this month Yahoo paid $1bn for a stake in China's biggest e-commerce site, alibaba.com.

Click for BBC article

Earth from space

Filmed from the Messenger spacecraft as it left Earth's orbit. This is made of 358 pics taken over 24 hours and edited into a video. Cool. Click for space movie

Phobia list

An alphabetical list of phobias. Just what we needed. Here's a selection of my faves...

Cyberphobia - fear of computers (yeah, ok)
Phronemophobia - fear of thinking (that's more like it)
Epistemophobia - fear of knowledge (ooh)
Ergophobia - fear of work (yay!)
Sophophobia - fear of learning (duh)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - fear of long words (Woohoo!)

Golden stuff. Click for phobia list

The Scratchpad - A Free Flash Based Drawing Game

Draw with a bunch of other people on the interweb. Click for the Scratchpad

A great big robot from outer space ate my homework

Here's a nice little animation about homework and robots. Click for robot movie

fast leaf

A nice movie about leaves. And the futility of life. Click for Quicktime movie

Paul - a very random retrospective

Here's a (very quick and random) selection of my previous posts. Some red, some black, most of it is clock-work.

your first scar

how many days until you retire?

evil plan

suicide bomber barbie

beer is your friend

brb

dildos turned into robots by japanese people

Barett bike

paperback believer

gimp roulette

We're all winning!

and of course I love death

He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.

Big kiss

Oingo